Sakura's Birthday Disaster
by exploding-penguins
Summary: It's Sakura's birthday, and Sasuke decides to be a helpful husband. Or, so he thinks. No one can truly be good at everything.


**Just a quick little oneshot to get my creative juices flowing again. My friend suggested something like this and I ran with it. Sasuke may be slightly OOC for the sake of the story. Hope you enjoy! I don't own Naruto.**

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"Sasuke-kun, are you sure about this?"

Sasuke Uchiha rolled his eyes and gave an annoyed huff at his wife. They'd been arguing over the same thing for what seemed like hours. He was simply trying to do something nice for her. Why couldn't she let him do that?

"Sakura, you know I enjoy your cooking. However, you always cook, and it's your birthday. Let me do this for you," he said, unloading the groceries he'd bought earlier.

The pinkette gave her husband a pointed look. Sure, it was her birthday. And yes, she'd usually appreciate the kind offer. However, Sasuke was a notoriously bad cook. She honestly had no idea how he managed to survive on his own for so long. Maybe he'd only survived on tomatoes and rice balls. She couldn't help but think that this would end very badly.

"Sasuke-kun, I think the offer is very sweet of you. I appreciate it, truly. But, we both know you can barely boil water without burning it. How in the world did you manage to burn _pasta?_ "

The raven resisted the urge to pout. Was she truly doubting his culinary skills? Alright, so he'd burned pasta the last time he cooked. And, maybe he'd set off the smoke detectors the time before that. Unnecessary details. Sasuke had decided that cooking was all about trial and error. He had a new plan in mind to prepare the perfect dinner. He was almost eager to see the look on his wife's face when he wowed her with his culinary prowess. After all, he excelled at everything he did.

After he finished unloading the groceries, Sasuke walked up to the pinkette and gave her a quick forehead poke. He couldn't help but smile slightly at the blush that appeared on her cheeks. "You're worrying for nothing. I'm almost insulted. You'll be eating your words soon enough."

Sakura couldn't help but giggle at his confidence. He was so cute when he was trying to prove himself. It didn't happen often, which made it even more adorable.

Sasuke put his hand on his wife's belly, where a small bump was present. He looked down at her belly in affection. "Tell Mama to have some confidence in Papa, little one. I've got this," he said.

Sakura had never loved him more than she did in that moment. Ever since she'd discovered she was pregnant a couple of months ago, her husband had been making an effort to be more affectionate, as well as do little things for her. She couldn't fault him for that, could she? They'd only be home for another week before they set out traveling again. Surely she could let him do something nice for her on her birthday.

"Alright, I'll trust you, Sasuke-kun. By the way, I like my steak medium-rare."

The raven nodded at her before going back to the task at hand. He had a strategy in mind. Using the stove clearly hadn't worked for him in the past. So, he decided to go back to basics. It'd probably freak Sakura out a little bit, but he'd show her she had nothing to worry about.

Though he tried to make his wife sit down and relax, she insisted on helping him do at least a little something. So, she helped him chop up some vegetables. After seasoning them to his liking, he popped them in the oven. It'd be pretty hard to mess that up. Oh no, his plan was for the main dish. He put the steaks he'd bought on a baking sheet and seasoned them as well, before pausing to admire his handy work.

Sakura couldn't help but giggle at the look of pride on her husband's face. She had to admit that he seemed to be doing fairly well this time around. Maybe she had worried for nothing after all.

"Alright, Sakura. You might want to stand back for this," Sasuke said coolly.

The pinkette cocked her head to the side in confusion, but took a couple of steps back as instructed. "Why do I need to stand back?"

The raven ignored her question, simply opting to let his actions do the talking. He began making hand signs, and realization slowly dawned on Sakura's face.

"O-Oh _hell_ no! If you're thinking what I think you are, you can forget-"

"Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu!"

It was then that all hell broke loose.

Clearly underestimating his own strength, Sasuke sent great orange flames through the entire kitchen. While it was smaller in scale than one he'd use on an enemy, it was far too large to cook a measly steak with. Before they knew it, the smoke detectors were going crazy, and flames had engulfed their kitchen table and curtains.

Sasuke quickly realized his mistake and stopped the jutsu, but it was already too late. He performed a quick water style jutsu to put out the fire that had taken over the room, before looking over at his wife.

"I… was aiming for a small fireball," the raven said lamely.

"Small, my ass," Sakura replied, pissed beyond belief.

"Sorry. I'll replace the curtains. And the table. And the chairs."

"Damn right you will," Sakura growled, walking past him to examine the pitiful steaks.

Pitiful was actually putting it nicely. The steaks were burnt to a crisp and completely ruined. It was then that Sakura realized she most definitely could never trust her husband in the kitchen again.

Angry at himself for his complete and total failure, Sasuke could do nothing but stand there wordlessly as his wife processed what had just taken place. Perhaps he'd found something he wasn't good at after all. He had a lot to make up for, that was for sure. How could he have been so stupid? He went to grab their coats, intent on making up for his atrocious attempt at cooking.

"I'll take you somewhere nice. Anywhere you want. You name it," he said.

Sakura simply sighed to herself and took her coat from him.

"I appreciate you trying, Sasuke-kun. Thank you. Just take me some place where I can get a drink. A cute, non-alcoholic drink."

' _Or two. Or three.'_

"Done."

While it definitely wasn't the ideal way to spend her birthday, Sakura truly did appreciate Sasuke's effort. She could only hope that down the line, she'd be able to look back and laugh at her disaster of a birthday.

As for Sasuke, he learned a valuable lesson. Never try to cook with giant fireballs.

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 **Looks like Sasuke doesn't know his own strength! I had fun writing this. If you enjoyed it, please review and save to your favorites! Also, I do take commission requests. Until next time! :)**


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